Five Things Not To Expect When You’re Expecting
BY RACHEL SHARANSKY DANZIGER for Kveller
“You know,” my friend told me, “I recently realized that I’ve been making it harder than necessary for myself.”
My friend’s newborn baby slept in her arms. Her toddler ran around with my children, happy to explore the mess of baby accessories. “Parenting, that is,” she clarified. “By trying to control everything.”
The kids shrieked and she craned her neck to try and see what they were up to. And then she forced herself to turn back toward me. “Like right now,” she added. “It’s really hard not to go and check and manage and all that.”
I Spit On My Child to Ward Off the Evil Eye—and It Worked
BY TOBI ASH for Kveller
We had just spent the day at Disney World, and our overexcited 16-month-old daughter was crying hysterically. She couldn’t stop screaming, the tears streaming down her face, barely catching her breath to pause, only to let out more hysterical shrieks. I checked and changed her diaper, offered a new fresh bottle, bathed her, undressed her, put on fresh clothes, put on the TV, but nothing worked.
A frantic hour passed by, and then another, and another, while my husband and I desperately tried to stop her crying. Finally, a thought struck me—a superstitious thought about “Ayen Hara” (the Evil Eye), perhaps placed on her by a fellow Disney attendee.
With nothing to lose, I carried her into the bathroom myself, and locked the door. Then, with a heart full of love and a mouth full of saliva, I viciously spat at her three times right in the forehead.
Watch This Dad & His Daughters Hilariously Rate Movies, Barbie & Pizza
BY JOANNA C. VALENTE for Kveller
- (Note from JVillage:) Nothing inherently Jewish about this, but we thought it might be a fun thing to do with your kids, sitting down and interviewing them on subjects and getting their opinions.
Don’t you actually want things, like toys and kids’ movies, to actually be rated by kids themselves? Well one dad has done it. Hamilton Leithauser, a musician (formerly in the band The Walkmen), made a video where he and his daughters talk pretty seriously about the movie “Trolls,” pizza, dad on dad fights, sleeping in the car, the Barbie Dreamhouse, play-doh, the kids’ menu and more in the latest episode of “Over/Under” on Pitchfork.
The Barbie dreamhouse, for instance, was determined to be: overrated. His older daughter said, “I hate it!! I don’t like it at allllll.”
The Netflix Show You Can, And Should, Binge-Watch With Your Kids
BY DR. CARA BERG POWERS for Kveller
“Here is a cup of tea, Ima.” My daughter mimed handing me a hot mug the other night as we sat on the couch together watching her favorite episode of the new Netflix series “Julie’s Greenroom.” This particular episode features Ellie Kemper (aka “the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”) teaching a charming group of puppet children about improv. And thanks to an earworm song called “Yes, And,” I know exactly how to respond to my daughter’s kind offer: “Yes, and… it is very hot.” I took improv in High School, and so I’ve known the cardinal rule for a long time, but I never expected my 3-year-old to be able to use it.
The Best Medicine: Bikur Cholim
Grandpa has a broken toe and is stuck in bed! The Plonys feel bad but are too busy with their elaborate weekend plans and Shabbat picnic to do anything about making him feel less lonely. ”SHABOOM!” The Sparks rain chicken soup down, and then send over a flock of quacking ducky pals to cheer everyone up. But what really makes Grandpa feel better is when the Plonys learn a lesson about visiting the sick, or bikur cholim.